Updating Opera:

The Ring of the Nibelung—Rapper’s Version

Quote from ILR JOURNAL: INSTITUTE FOR LEARNING IN RETIREMENT
Harriet Friedlander


Yo! Brunhilde is a Valkyrie, she rides horses in the sky.
She has a nipple shield & a long sharp spear & can stare down any guy.
Her Daddy's name is Votan, he lives up in Valhalla;
He's the Main Man—he is the God that everyone else has to follow.

Alberich is this evil little dude & Nibelung is his hood;
He's hitting on 3 Rhinemaidens—those slutty tarts look GOOD.
But they laugh & dis him & splash him in the Rhine, & that makes him feel BAD.
So he steals their gold & makes him a ring & everyone gets real mad.

Then Votan tries to get the ring ’cause it can help him rule the world,
But it's snatched up by some old Dragon with his slimey tail uncurled.
So then Brunhilde gets down with Siegfried—he's this big & studly hunk,
And he grabs the ring from the Dragon, who calls him a freakin' punk.

Siegfried's making out with Brunhilde on a flaming mountaintop;
And it's ooh baby, baby, baby, this fire's making me so hot!
But Siegfried cools off pronto when he spies a new fine-looking fox;
Brunhilde gets mad & madder—swears she's gonna knock his rocks.

Siegfried is terminated—he shouldna been fooling around;
Brunhilde is agitated—she's sorry, but he's not around.
They both burn up in a fire, the gold ring gets thrown back in the Rhine;
The Gods in Valhalla expire, and the whole world goes down one more time.

But if you are digging the music, you'll hear what it's trying to say:
Don't mess with those gods in Valhalla, if you want things to turn out okay.
This story's full of hot sex & violence, & plot twists that turn on a dime,
So go out & see some Grand Opera if you want to have a REALLY GOOD TIME.